While I spend day upon day looking for inspiration and content to write about, life seems to be like panning for gold at the water park’s lazy river. Full of distractions and never finding what I’m looking for. (Actually, that was a pretty good analogy.) This week, I was handed a game-changer. Not the kind of game changer that you go looking for, or even one that you would welcome if it were given as an option.
The Game Changer
This week I took a day off from work and went to my local urgent care clinic for some severe abdominal cramps and bloating. I had tried over-the-counter medications, but nothing was helping. The journey went from urgent care to the emergency room where I had x-rays and a CAT scan. With this information, they found a mass at my ileocecal valve, that’s where the small and large intestines meet, as well as some abnormalities in my kidney.
The next part of my journey was to be transported, via rickety ambulance, to a larger hospital’s emergency room. It is amazing what a vast contrast there is between rural hospital emergency rooms and urban hospitals. The scene went from quiet Mayberry to chaotic Beirut after what seemed like a thirty-minute ride in a horse and buggy over wash-board roads. Here, while on my luxurious ambulance cot, I was whisked past the line of people waiting to get into the waiting room and promptly parked in a hallway. Although my wife followed the ambulance closely and had to wait in the queue to get information on where I was, she was told I wasn’t there. After exerting the loving influence only a mother bear can assert, they magically found the back burner they had parked me in and led her to me.
When they finally found me a room and had me moved in, they got around to doing some more X-rays and an MRI. These confirmed that I did have a mass in my gastrointestinal tract plus some abnormalities in my liver. Yesterday I had a colonoscopy to take a biopsy of the mass. Although the results of the biopsy won’t be back until Tuesday, they’re throwing around the “cancer” word a lot. Also, they say that if it is cancer, it may have metastasized to my liver. They don’t seem to be concerned with the spots on my kidney for some reason.
So that leads to today. Sitting in a hospital bed with nothing constructive to do except to write, and now, with a new chapter and motivation in my life. I’m praying that it’s a long chapter.
Looking Forward
I’m scheduled for surgery on Tuesday to remove the part of my colon that has the mass and to take a biopsy of my liver. This is all so overwhelming. So much new information is thrown at us while we’re still processing the old information.
Introspection
I find myself gravitating towards worry about work and money. About my wife and son. But, I also know that I am a child and close friend of the One who holds this entire reality together simply by His word. I WILL have faith in Him. I will have faith for my healing. I will have faith for the security of my job. I will have faith that He will provide for us financially. I will have faith for a long life with my wife, my son, and my incredible friends who are constantly lifting us in prayer.
Since I’m going to be spending a lot of time laying on my butt, I would love to start to converse with some of my readers in the comment section of this post. I promise you will hear back from me.
Also, since I’m going to be having a lot of free time, if there is anything you would like to have me pray for, please let me know, either in the comments or by emailing me at brian@briancaruthers.com.
God Speed.